The Truth BehindThe Friendzone
In the Friend Zone? Want to be more than just ‘friends’? Have that
nasty, suspicious feeling that when it comes to just ‘being friends’ no
matter what a guy is saying to you there is more to it than that? The
latest research tells us that when it comes to being Friend Zoned, what
women have always suspected is true – it doesn’t happen very often, if
at all. But women see the Friend Zone very differently to men.
Dr. April Bleske-Rechek, Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Wisconsin, published her findings in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships
after inviting students to come to her lab with a friend of the
opposite sex and answer questions about each other. The questions asked
them about how attractive they found their friend, whether they would
consider dating their friend and also how attracted they felt their
friend was to him (or her).
First they discovered that the guys were all attracted to their
female friends more than the women were attracted to them. This is
consistent with the portrayals we see in the media – think Friends and Ross being more attracted to Rachel than she was to him and Jacob’s attraction to Bella in Twilight. Interestingly,
both men and women were more attracted to their friend when they
thought their friend was attracted to them – but it would appear that
hardly any men think: ‘Wow! I bet she’d be a great person to just hang out with’ as women have always suspected.
They also discovered that the men’s attraction to their female
friends didn’t change with relationship status – either his or theirs.
But for the women, if their male friend was in a relationship they found
him less attractive and when in a relationship themselves, all women
were significantly less interested in the prospect of dating their
‘friend’.
The last part of the findings are perhaps the most significant of
all. It was discovered that men consistently over-estimated their female
friend’s attraction and desire to possibly date them while the women
consistently underestimated their male friend’s attraction to them but
accurately gauged their desire to date them! So, if you’re a woman in
the Friend Zone your ‘vibe’ about whether your male friend wants to date
you or not is probably correct. If you’re not in a relationship you
could do worse than a quick inventory of your single male friends
because it’s likely they consider you attractive and want to date you.
Remember the study showed women consistently underestimate how
attractive their male friends find them. Guys, your female friends most
likely just want to be friends. End of story.
Remember, just because two people are attracted to one
another does not necessarily mean they will become a couple. On a soul
level we learn from every relationship as all close personal
relationships are about the same thing – love. Sometimes this is
expressed romantically and sometimes just as a very close friendship.
The Friend Zone is just another place we can make a lasting soul
connection.
Still want to know more? Read it here or download the apps called TAMARA to read about amazing articles or just to share about your love life!
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